The Council’s Epic Adventure through the Universe 5: Last Transmission

Summary: we are not going to make it back.

This week has been a nightmare, but unfortunately, it’s all coming to an end. That’s it. There is nothing more to say. The Council of Fiery Creek is going to end.

For some reason, Doris exploded yesterday, destroying a part of the ship’s hull in the process. Council member William Sato, who went there to check what was going on, was sucked into the void and killed instantly. His remains could not be recovered.

The remaining four of us put on our space suits and tried to cover the whole or solve the problem. The spaceship had gone crazy, pointing that the ship failure was unexpected, and that there were no emergency measures that could be taken to solve the problem.

We are left with whatever food or air we can get for our spacesuits. We are in the middle of an uninhabited star system where the spaceship wanted us to do some chores. We are thousands of kilometres away from the nearest planet.

We are lost. The spaceship malfunction cannot be solved, and we have no power to go anywhere. There is no damn escape from this place. We are all dead. We all are.

We don’t have enough usable resources that we can get, not enough air in our suits, or food or drinks that we can put inside without letting the air out and dying in the process. However you look at it, this is the end for everyone here.

In fact, I think that, as I write this, I am the only one who is left here, the rest of them dead. I am too afraid to go check, and I am too afraid of what I could do to myself in the next few hours. I can’t talk for everyone, so I’ll talk for myself.

I guess this is what corruption brings you. I guess you make enemies. And I guess that, when you don’t work hard, and when you surround yourself with people who are as bad or worse than you yourself are, you don’t learn the lessons of life, and you lose opportunities for growth. I guess when you only look for your own interests, the people around you won’t think about them, and that, when you don’t take the consequences that others suffer into account, the harmed will ask for revenge.

But I guess I’ve learned the lessons too late, and that this is the last transmission.



The Council’s Epic Adventure through the Universe 4: A Gas Station in the Middle of Nowhere

Summary: we have stopped at some space station, and the crowd here looks quite rough.

Another week has gone by, and we have finally stopped somewhere. This week has been silent, with a lack of interaction. After all, it’s not like we are going to forget what we did to Amelia that easily. None of us know what it is that we fear: to see the monster in others, or, through the reflection that they show us, to see the monster in us.

Thus, when the ship has finally notified us that we have stopped in a Gas Station and that we should take this time to go to the bar for drinks, we have seen each other for the first time since the Salt Mines. There has been little to no interaction, and we have all awkwardly walked through the bridge and onto the Gas Station.

We have ordered our drinks and we have all sat at different places in the bar. The people there have not looked at us, and we have not looked at them. The environment of the bar was clearly gloomy, almost as if we were breathing heavy air, our lungs unable to process the heavy liquid that is going to them.

That was, of course, until a rowdy crowd came. A few of the people that had been there with us disappeared, one to the toilet, and a few others through another exit. The one who looked like the leader of that group looked at the whole place, and saw us.

“Newbs” he said. “Come here, newbs. Learn how things work here”.

We tried to resist, but even William Sato was stripped from all of his possessions at gunpoint.

“Now take us to your ship, newbs. We are taking it” he ordered.

We walked towards the town council/spaceship, and got to the entrance, which opened for us, but warned that it would only let the Council members inside.

“Like we would not take such a nice from a group of newbs like you” he said.

An enormous mounted automatic machine gun appeared from out of nowhere. “You better hand in my people, or I’ll kill you”.

“Let’s see that”.

The spaceship shot ruthlessly. We found ourselves amidst a group of bloody corpses. We recovered our things and got into the ship, which, as we walked in, commented that “Only I get to kill you. Or yourselves, of course”.

The Council’s Epic Adventure through the Universe 3: The Salt Mines continued

Summary: this week has been pretty bad for us, so we are going to start with a joke.

Joke: what’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair. It’s even harder if the vegetable is not a vegetable, but a woman who just happens to be in a wheelchair and is not willing to die.

So, let’s get started with the week. The town hall/spaceship thing we are traveling in had taken us to this planet and told us to mine some salt for it. We insisted that we would not be doing any work at all. The spaceship just simply decided to cut our food and drink supplies until we got to work. It also decided that it was a good idea to play super high Skrillex while we were trying to sleep.

Even though we had to undergo those hardships, the Council as one decided to continue their work for Fiery Creek by rebelling against the machine, assuming that it had been programmed with the Three Laws of Robotics and that it could not harm us. We were wrong. Oh, yes, were we wrong, so wrong we were. The Council now stands with five members as a consequence of our foolishness.

We resisted the first day without problems, and though the second one was bad, our spirits were still high. The third day had us doubting, and the fourth one… Oh, the fourth day. It crushed our spirits. We reached the fifth day with no sleep, extremely hungry and thirsty, on the brink of madness and death. We decided that we had to get the work done.

The problem with this, however, was that nobody had any strength to carry so much salt to the spaceship. We needed nourishment. So we took extreme measures. The decision was taken and… Amelia Beyer was cannibalized, against her will. She fought against the rest of us, but not even the wheelchair was left when we were done with her.

We are murderers.

With the nutrients that her body and wheelchair gave us, we managed to carry out the salt mining, after which the spaceship gave us water and food, and let us sleep in peace. We asked what our next tasks were, but it told us the rest of the work had already been taken care of in this planet.

We are now heading to out next destination. We have crossed star system after star system, traveling towards some set destination we don’t know about. In our trip, we observe the celestial bodies, the ones we knew about and the ones we have just discovered, in silence, something broken inside us, a member missing from our unwanted expedition.

The Council’s Epic Adventure through the Universe 2: The Salt Mines

Summary: apparently salt mining is a thing, and we are going to be forced to do it.

Today we have stopped in the first planet of this galaxy. The computer has notified us that there are some tasks that need to be carried out in this planet, the first one being to mine 500 kilograms of salt from the surface of this shit planet in the middle of nowhere in a seemingly empty galaxy.

We told the computer to go fuck itself, that we would not be putting half a tonne of salt into the ship. The computer just opened the door and shut down all communications, stating that it would not be moving from that spot until it detected that we had loaded the salt into the ship. That was three days ago.

No work has been carried out, because we have been kidnapped by that ship, and our responsibility is to resist its force until we can escape from this hellish trip and get back to Fiery Creek, where we belong. Due to the fact that communications are completely one-sided, we are going to imagine – completely ignoring actual polls and opinion data that we had knowledge of before we went into this space trip, for the sake of convenience – that you are desperate to have us back in our ruling positions, and that town is in utter chaos.

Which takes us to our next topic: in these three days, considering that we are completely unsupervised by the computer and free to roam in this planet, we have attempted an escape. Magic, however, does not work in this dimension, and even if it did, the main magic users of the Council died in the incident at Barbados, so it’s not like we could do much, really.

The planet seems quite empty of life – at least the couple of kilometres that we have explored, not like we would check the whole thing (that’s for minions to do) -, and there don’t seem to be any sources of water or food that we could use to survive here, which, let’s face it, is inconvenient as fuck.

Also, Doris is acting quite weird. She used to praise us and give us gifts, but now she is getting quite distant. We have tried to talk to her about the whole thing, but she has just said that she liked us better when we were in Fiery Creek and listened more to her, and that she is starting to have a better understanding with the spaceship’s computer. What that might mean, we do not know. I mean, it’s Doris, she is quite weird by default.

We are going to try to wait this one out without doing a thing, and we will see how the computer reacts.

The Council’s Epic Adventure through the Universe 1: Onto Strange Lands

Another week has gone by, and the spaceship keeps traveling through space. It has kindly informed us – after Amelia Beyer had banged against the computer several times with her wheelchair – that we have exited our home universe and entered universe D449-S3F45-2Q87I, where we are going to stay now that all exits from that universe have been locked completely. Also, the computer has started to play Call me maybe in an infinite loop to punish us. This sucks.

We have observed that we are approaching a galaxy somewhere in this universe, and the computer has told us that we need to stop in a few planets in this galaxy, to pick up some stuff and run some errands for the owner of the spaceship. When we have insisted that the Council of Fiery Creek owns the spaceship and thus it has to obey us, it has told us that, even though the Council has been using the spaceship as an office, at no time did it ever buy the property, and thus it belongs to the original builder. Who this original builder might be, we still don’t know.

Yet apparently the machine is not going to do all of the hard work itself, but it’s going to have us work. It has allocated rooms for each of us, and even had wardrobes with clothes and equipment that fit each of us perfectly. This could sound like a coincidence, but they even had a spacesuit for William Sato – tailored to the size of a shiba inu dog -, and some add-ons for Amelia’s wheelchair. We didn’t know that Town Hall had such equipment, and there is no record that any Council member or Town Mayor has ever ordered any of these.

God, that music does get annoying after you’ve listened to it for the 743rd time. We’ll inform you whenever there are any news.

Fiery Creek Public Service Announcements, 05/10/2016

The following Public Service Announcement has been made public by Town Council on the 5th October 2016. Its aim is to let citizens know that:

  1. So… yeah… we didn’t know about that security function and… we’ve fucked up. This is the gist of it: we are in a superadvanced spaceship 50,000 parsecs away from the planet, heading towards some other galaxy extremely far from our own (and we also think that we might be in another universe), trapped with limited supplies in a trip off to who knows where. Also, the spaceship is in auto-pilot and, not only do we not understand how to use such advanced technology, but also there’s no way to break it or override it. Conclusion: we’re going wherever this thing takes us. We can still send these messages, which is good, but… Also, we are trapped in here with Doris Waters. She seems to be ditzier than usual, in a harmless kind of way, which is… weird. We’ve checked her up and she has a 1 tattooed to the back of her neck, but otherwise seems to be her.
  2. We can’t warn you of any news or organize any events, so we will just use this space to tell you about our adventures and make sure that you all know about our well-being, as we think that you are probably all very worried. Actually, we’ve thought about it and keeping this name and using a calendar don’t make any sense anymore, so we will probably call this something else, right now we’ve settled for: “The Council’s Epic Adventure through the Universe”.

Fiery Creek Public Service Announcements, 28/09/2016

The following Public Service Announcement has been made public by Town Council on the 28th September 2016. Its aim is to let citizens know that:

  1. Stop banging on the Town Hall’s door. We have shut ourselves in, and thanks to the advanced security systems from the future that the building possesses, you will never be able to get in. You can protest as much as you want, you can try to hold us captive, sieged in this building for as long as you want to, but we won’t step down. We have enough resources to hold strong for a lifetime here.
  2. So, yes, Vee might have taken care of most of the problems of this town, so what? Does that give him the right to be Mayor? No, it doesn’t! We refuse to let that happen! And, now that you ask, yes, we might have looked for absolutely anything that we could take him to prison for, and used it against him as soon as we could. But you don’t get it, Fiery Creek needs us. The whole Multiverse needs us. We the Council have been chosen to be a key factor in the destiny of the Multiverse, according to the Great Plan. Go ask the Witches, they will tell you.