I would ask you how things are at home, but there seems to be a problem with post, and even though I receive your letters, I seem to have problems reading them. The last letter that you sent me was quite thick. I am guessing it contained letters from mom, dad and everyone else, right? Well, when I opened the envelope, just as I received the letter, an incredibly powerful gust of wind took all of the papers away (the envelope, too!).
I cast a few spells to try to capture the papers, but they did not work. I ran after the papers, and, after what must have been a few hours of running, I reached a vast wasteland in the edge of the Occult Neighbourhood. I had never seen this wasteland, and that was actually the last time I saw it. When the papers landed on it, a forest grew over it, so thick that it was impossible to navigate. When I finally gave up, I met a figure with the skull of a ram for a head, who looked at me in an intense way (despite its lack of eyes), and told me that “Destiny had been sealed”.
Going to this week’s activities, I had already told you about the Dark Mass, right? Well, it has already happened. The other day, I met the Dark Lord. As I told you in my previous letter, every Priest and Priestess of the Dark Lord, Assistant of the sub-Lieutenant Third of the Illuminati branches needed to be sacrificed in the Dark Mass. My boss, Lisa, was going to attempt to kill her boss to get a promotion and manage to escape the deadly fate. However, she could not find him at any point during the week, not even instants prior to the Dark Mass, because, apparently, he had been attacked by some large bird, and so he did not come to work during the whole week. Lisa finally had to come to terms with the idea that she was going to get sacrificed to the Dark Lord.
The Dark Mass was an extremely controlled ceremony. There was lots of protocol to be followed, and to be fair, I was thankful to the seminars that I had received on the previous week. The ceremony took place in some sort of cathedral that we accessed through underground tunnels. Seats had been assigned for us; I was seating towards the edge of the room, and all of the sacrifices were in the very centre, so my boss had a pretty good place to see the whole thing. The cathedral must have been larger than a stadium, but it was crowded. There were thousands of people there!
The people that were going to get sacrificed were in quite some distress, and there was quite a lot of noise, but I could not see why, or what was going on. Suddenly, several lights of different colours illuminated each of us, and the cathedral went from the black of everyone’s cloaks to a sea of colour. My light was a bright white, a rare thing that I could not see on anyone else (but there were over 50,000 people there, so no easy way to know if there were others like me). There were green, blue, red, yellow, pink… and several other colours. One of the regions of the public looked like one of those Find Waldo drawings. The sacrifices did not have any colours on them.
A dark fluid concentrated on the ceiling of the building, and spiralled down in weird shapes that defied any sense, falling over the human sacrifices. They were enveloped by that black goo in no time, and when they had all disappeared under that dark mantle, the Dark Lord materialized. Now, this was quite a shocking experience. I don’t remember exactly what the Dark Lord looked like. It had long hair, and I think it had wings and horns, but I cannot quite remember what happened. A girl that was sitting next to me told me that the Dark Lord was such a superior being that our brains had trouble conceptualizing it, so the brain avoided those memories.
The Dark Lord disappeared without saying a thing, apparently pleased with the Dark Mass. The centre of the cathedral was left empty, and the human sacrifices were nowhere to be seen. After several rituals, we all went back to our workplaces. I asked about Lisa, and I was told that she had ‘crossed to the other side’ which I think means that she has gone to work in Europe now. Good for her.
This meant that her position was vacant, so it was offered to me. I gladly accepted it, and I am now a Priest of the Dark Lord, Assistant of the sub-Lieutenant Third of the American branch of the Illuminati. I am so excited! I am going to have new responsibilities now! I really like the opportunities for promotion that the Illuminati offer. I’ll start working on my new position soon, and I will get to meet my new boss! Let’s hope it goes well!