Denna’s Charm of the Week

Hi!

I’ve been having lots of fun with my new friends, and my sister has not bothered me for a while, so no complaining today. Let’s have some fun with the new spells that I’m going to teach you!

As we all know, aliens have attacked town, and we are resisting against them inside the Arc built by Joana Jauregi – who, I’m going to boast now, is a friend of mine! -, and though this is an impenetrable fortress which happens to harbour a whole Multiverse inside, a lot of people would like to recover their houses in Fiery Creek. This is the reason why we are fighting.

So, here is the thing, the Confederacy of Extremely Politically Correct Sentient Beings and Non-Beings is the one that is attacking us, so we need to hit them on their prime weakness: their political correctness. For this reason, Vee and I have devised a strategy that works with just three magicians, each of them casting one spell.

The spells are the following:

  • Ezkeld: a protective shield that can endure several attacks at the same time, it’s adequate to protect small groups of people from attacks coming from any angle. It’s not a perfect defense, and the stronger the caster the better its effects are going to be. The most powerful magician in the team should cast this spell.
  • Exprashio: when this spell connects with a target, it explodes. It does not have to hit an enemy directly, if the spell hits against some building and throws rocks and dust everywhere it will also damage the enemies, so just use it!
  • Incorrectio Humaorio: I have developed this spell with the help of Amanda Alexander and Joana Jauregi, who are superb magicians and have a terrible, extremely politically incorrect sense of humor. Basically, this illusion spell shows an extremely graphic image that makes the enemies lose their concentration. Images go from dicks and cunts to dead babies to racial humor. In fact, be careful when using this one, because you may feel offended yourself.

Basically, the caster who uses Ezkeld needs to stay in the centre of the team, holding the spell against enemy attacks, while the other two distract and attack nearby enemies. We have tested this strategy in the battlefield, and it works really well! We still have to recommend that you see Vee, Amanda, or any of us before you head out into the battlefield. We don’t want to have any casualties or injuries, and we will first check that your power levels are adequate to fight against the aliens.

And remember, always be safe! All the best!

For Fiery Creek!

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