The Council’s Epic Adventure through the Universe 2: The Salt Mines

Summary: apparently salt mining is a thing, and we are going to be forced to do it.

Today we have stopped in the first planet of this galaxy. The computer has notified us that there are some tasks that need to be carried out in this planet, the first one being to mine 500 kilograms of salt from the surface of this shit planet in the middle of nowhere in a seemingly empty galaxy.

We told the computer to go fuck itself, that we would not be putting half a tonne of salt into the ship. The computer just opened the door and shut down all communications, stating that it would not be moving from that spot until it detected that we had loaded the salt into the ship. That was three days ago.

No work has been carried out, because we have been kidnapped by that ship, and our responsibility is to resist its force until we can escape from this hellish trip and get back to Fiery Creek, where we belong. Due to the fact that communications are completely one-sided, we are going to imagine – completely ignoring actual polls and opinion data that we had knowledge of before we went into this space trip, for the sake of convenience – that you are desperate to have us back in our ruling positions, and that town is in utter chaos.

Which takes us to our next topic: in these three days, considering that we are completely unsupervised by the computer and free to roam in this planet, we have attempted an escape. Magic, however, does not work in this dimension, and even if it did, the main magic users of the Council died in the incident at Barbados, so it’s not like we could do much, really.

The planet seems quite empty of life – at least the couple of kilometres that we have explored, not like we would check the whole thing (that’s for minions to do) -, and there don’t seem to be any sources of water or food that we could use to survive here, which, let’s face it, is inconvenient as fuck.

Also, Doris is acting quite weird. She used to praise us and give us gifts, but now she is getting quite distant. We have tried to talk to her about the whole thing, but she has just said that she liked us better when we were in Fiery Creek and listened more to her, and that she is starting to have a better understanding with the spaceship’s computer. What that might mean, we do not know. I mean, it’s Doris, she is quite weird by default.

We are going to try to wait this one out without doing a thing, and we will see how the computer reacts.


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