This is the horoscope for this week. As always, remember that in weeks with more than two primes the prediction gets reversed, and that the week of the full moon horoscopes don’t work. On the other hand, if there is an eclipse somewhere in the world, horoscopes work an infinitesimal factor of d better.
Aries: I’m not going to ask how you managed to escape the town. You probably went through with an insane plan that will get you into even more trouble. I sound like your mother, but you need to change your ways. There is not much I can do about it really. You will have to decide what you want to do with your life this week.
Leo: I know you can feel the ominous presence. It’s very subtle, but it’s there. Don’t rush it. The time will come for a fight. Just wait.
Virgo: there will be red bursts of fire in the Forbidden District. This is just a signal that the security that you set up with Mamma is working well. Just make sure that nobody goes near the place.
Sagittarius: you think you can fight them. Let’s see what you can do.
Capricorn: they can’t really prove that you built the Arc, because they cannot access it. You will be freed. You should probably hang out with Amanda, she seems to like you.
Aquarius: they finally found the corpse, and now you are finally free, having shown your innocence. As soon as you go outside, you will feel the presence of ∞.
Pisces: you have a probability of exactly 19/124 of spontaneously turning into an ocelot this week. It’s nice to be so fast and agile.