This week in the news:
Heatwave stopped by heroic action of townspeople
Once again, the dangers that threatened our community have been taken care of by selfless citizens ready to take action and tackle the real issues that affect everyone – unlike certain Town Council that only cares about literary events and literally starting the Apocalypse.
During this whole period, the town’s temperature went up all the way to around 5500ºC. This was 5400ºC over the estimates that our lazy and sloppy Town Council had predicted for this year’s heatwave. The reason for such an intense heatwave is still unknown, and no magical force has been identified as manipulating the weather of town (much as the people from ANUS insist that there has been some kind of magical intervention), and the whole phenomenon remains a mystery.
Most citizens took cover in the underground tunnels, where the temperature also increased to abnormal levels. Luckily, Mamma Luca and Laurel Lewis sealed off the entrances to the tunnels, thus regulating the temperature of the tunnels back to normal. In order to keep the temperature in the surface at bay, they also went out and protected the city, thanks to which we still have houses to live in.
The temperature, however, was producing nuclear fusion among the light atoms in the town’s atmosphere, liberating a deadly dose of radiation everywhere. Thus, the citizens had to descend on to the lower levels of the tunnels in order to be protected. This came at a risk, though, as the underground tunnels were plagued with a myriad of monsters ready to eat any humans that ventured into their lair.
Luckily, Vitor Vico, Amanda Alexander and Anne Black were there to slay the monsters. The trio, who already fought in the Apocalypse and were key to averting it, fought all of the monsters that lived in the tunnels, thus saving thousands of lives of the citizens that delved into the darkness.
Then, the Kulmala family emerged from the depths of the tunnels after a couple of weeks of exploration, and, as soon as they got to know about the surface situation, they performed a Scandinavian ritual which, thanks to the amplification that Laurel Lewis and Mamma Luca, brought the temperatures down to normal and restored the climate.
The Town Council has yet to declare about the heroic actions of these citizens who are worthy of the highest honours, and should be given a public prize for their services to town. Our intern was sent to them asking for any sort of declaration, but obtained no words from them – partly because they had sealed their mouths with superglue -. The Council has also not pronounced itself about the elections that have yet to be organized, and have delayed the issue ever since Eleanor West, lawyer of town, discovered that no town regulation gives the Council any power in candidate nominations for the elections.
The Quantitators have released their annual list of the “Most powerful people of the known Multiverse”
This year, the list includes more citizens of this town than ever. Among them are: Mamma Luca, Laurel Lewis, Vitor Vico, Amanda Alexander, Ba’al Prince of Hell, Jennifer Boise and 5 more.
This year, Mamma Luca is sharing the spotlight of the third place with Laurel Lewis. The young woman has surprised the whole Multiverse by ascending through the ranks extremely quickly. In fact, she wasn’t even in the list last year, and she has gone all the way up to third position. The Quantitators had trouble comparing the power levels of both women, which were going overboard, and though Mamma Luca wins in raw power, Laurel Lewis has better technique, which evens out both of them.
Ba’al, Prince of Hell, came in the 154th position, falling four positions from the list last year. The Prince of Hell commented that he has not been very active this year, but that he expects to be using his power to its full potential once again. Hopefully this will help him recover the lost position, which is now held by Sartrigias, a Greek Hero of universe 65S3-4D589-P84O3, whose power levels are suspected to be related to performance enhancers, though this claim has never been proven.
Vitor Vico is back in the list once more, and has managed to improve his position significantly from 1,503 to 1,042. The Quantitators‘ report indicates that this might be related to him finally finding the power of love, which is well known for fueling several types of magic. Who this town hero’s lover might be is a secret, though several admirers wish that it was them.
Appearing in the list for the first time is also Amanda Alexander, representing the black community in the 1,409th position, and she is not the only Fiery Creek citizen that represents a minority. Jennifer Boise, manager of the Fiery Creek Post Office, is representing the trans-alligator people for the first time in her 1,672nd position. In fact, Jennifer is the first trans-species person to ever be part of this list, a fact that has earned her the respect of the whole Multiverse community.
Five more Fiery Creek citizens were part of this list, though they asked to stay anonymous to the public. With this, 11 Fiery Creek citizens are part of the Most powerful people of the known multiverse, which, added to the Author, in second position, another anonymous citizen and Merlin, makes 14 people in the list for our planet, making it the most important hub of power in the known Multiverse.