The following Public Service Announcement has been made public by Town Council on the 3rd August 2016. Its aim is to let citizens know that:
- The Mural Painting Serial Killer was captured this weekend by someone who was not the Council, and we cannot steal their merit because, somehow, citizens have become aware of Town politics now. People care now. People don’t send in complaints, because they know that “the Council will do nothing, as it always does”. You might think that this is us sulking because our popularity has suddenly plummeted, and, to be honest, yes we are. So yes, Vee stopped that Mural Painting Serial Killer, and the Ancient Egyptians before that. What, does he deserve a trophy now? Does he deserve a nomination? Well, the town Council firmly stands by the decision that he doesn’t. He did not fulfil the completely unfair conditions that we set to avoid having candidates apart from our own. He should have understood that. He should have known better. And now all of you are being manipulated. “But he is one of the few people who do things for the Community”, you’ll say. And you will be completely right. But that doesn’t mean that he will be a good Mayor, or that we cannot sulk for the fact that we are losing our influence and are going to do whatever needs to be done to stop this madness from taking us out of power. So stop asking for nominations for Vee, or there will be consequences.
- The two creatures that had been spotted in town were not lycanthropes. We repeat: the two creatures that had been spotted in town were not lycanthropes. This means that they cannot be defeated with silver bullets – in fact, we know because some have tried to defeat them with this method and failed – or any other conventional werewolf-killing methods. The species has yet to be identified, but they are thought to be some sort of therianthropes, or yokais. Please, stay away from them – unless you have a death wish, in which case, you should definitely walk alone through poorly-lit alleyways in the middle of the night -, and report any sightings to Town Council.
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are going to be in town starting from this weekend to negotiate about their riding in October. The weather and general fabric of space and time are going to be disrupted by their arrival, and a lot of death is probably going to happen – it is a well known fact that the Horseman of War has not taken the nomination of Freddie Kruger for the presidential elections very well -, so, if you have any money, make sure to leave town ASAP. Or else, be ready to face the consequences.