A lof of our readers have requested for a guide to the inside of the library. They really liked the guide to get in and get the library card, but wish there was some kind of roadmap to the entrails of the library. Today is a non prime day – it technically isn’t, but the library’s internal calendar does not seem to have been affected like the rest of town, and it seems to be working quite normally -, and considering that you sorry asses have absolutely no talent for poetry, you can use the sonnet that you already have about death.
So, let’s not waste any time – I’m in a hurry! You don’t get a Summer Solstice that spans for over a week every day! -, you go over the process that has already been explained in Important Sites of Fiery Creek 2. Once you are in the library – again, having gone over the realization that the self is just a construct that gets destroyed -, you will be facing the door to the library, while Erin Pyp looks at you from the library desk and the hydra tries to appear uninterested – but we all know that it’s fifth head, Sally, cannot resist giving a peek, curious as she is.
You will look into the door, and the door will look back into you. Yes, the door will see what’s in your mind, the door will look into your soul, the door will see everything that you have been, that you are and that you could possibly ever be, and then open itself to you. It really does not matter what the door sees into you, the only thing that it cares about is that you have the library tattoo. The rest is just for gossip with the door community.
This process takes about 5 minutes per person, 5 long minutes in which you have to wait until the door is done. As everything in this town, it is highly impractical, and in days with large amounts of visitors to the library you get long queues that take forever to clear. The record that anyone has ever waited to get into the library because of a queue is 7 months, 2 days and 8 hours.
Once the door opens, you will walk into the library. You will appear randomly into one of 9 entrance points. Some of them are more dangerous than others, in the following order:
- If you appear in the door that takes you to a terrace over the library building, you are safe. Avoid the Library Terrace Café and you will be fine.
- If you appear in the door that takes you to a staircase, do not touch any of the prime stairs (don’t worry, they are numbered), or you will trigger deadly traps.
- If you appear in the door that takes you directly to Study Room 4, make sure you are completely silent. Those who dwell in Study Room 4 will give you stares that will torture your soul if you dare to make any kind of noise.
- If you appear in the door that takes you to Biographies, you will be haunted by the ghosts of those whose lives have been trapped into the books of the Biographies section.
- If you appear in the door that takes you to the basement, you will have to choose between two corridors, one full of Nazi officers and another one full of Japanese officers from WWII. My recommendation is that, unless you are extremely well prepared for a fight or really need to get to the Botany section, you pick the Nazis. They are much easier to deal with.
- If you appear in the door that takes you to the Botany section, good luck fighting those Japanese officers to get out of there.
- If you appear in the door that takes you to Study Room 5, run back and try again. Your sole presence will trigger the bloodlust of the people who use Study Room 5, and you will wish they would kill you quicker.
- If you appear in the door that takes you to a floating platform in the sky, you are probably going to get killed by some aliens whose hair colour changes every time they power up and who claim to be able to destroy worlds.
- Finally, if you appear in the door that takes you to the core of the library, the sheer energy of the core will destroy your very being. The probability that you get to this door is so low, that it has never actually happened, but we need to include it as a warning – the government forces us to, like they do with pharmaceutical companies when they say that you might die or suffer from extreme disfiguration from taking a paracetamol. Check the prospectus, it’s there.
If you somehow manage to survive your way into the library (yay, well done!), then you will have access to the library. Now that we have reached this point, it is probably more adequate that I call it the Library City, because that is what it actually is. It is easier to see it than to describe it.
This would seem overwhelming, specially for a first timer, but don’t worry, Erin Pyp will always help you if she feels that you need some guidance – I mean, you think that you are capable of faring well by yourself, but let’s be honest… -. Those of you who know a bit more about the Librarian might know that she is nowhere near the most powerful being, and might not feel safe following her when facing dragons, Nazis and deities who live in the Library City.
There is, however, a special rule in the Library City that destroys every rule for the Librarian. Ms Pyp has literally unlimited power while she is in the Library City, making her the most powerful being while in that realm. Yes, the most logical question following this piece of information is: then why not change everything and make it safe for everyone? Well, that is for the Librarian only to answer, but if I were to guess…
I’d say it is to keep the spirit of adventure in the Library City.