WARNING! As the town is still paralyzed into the 23rd of June, the current Horoscope remains the same. Last week’s horoscope is being published as a reminder. There will also be no news report tomorrow (today?), as the Chief Editor is sick. We apologize for this inconveniences and hope that the situation gets resolved as soon as possible. We will keep you updated.
This is the horoscope for this week. As always, remember that in weeks with more than two primes the prediction gets reversed, and that the week of the full moon horoscopes don’t work. On the other hand, if there is an eclipse somewhere in the world, horoscopes work an infinitesimal factor of d better.
Note: this horoscope corresponds to the week of the Summer Solstice. Strange powers take hold during this week, and no rules apply at all.
Aries: fed up with routine and life, feeling in a prison, you will take a ticket to Cincinnati and try to start a folk and roll band there.
Taurus: you will go to a concert by a band with your friend. The band will only have a vocalist, guitar and violin player, but you will still have the time of your life.
Gemini: your father will try to marry you to Ba’al, Prince of Hell, but you already have a lover and you will refuse. Your loved one will be destined to Ireland.
Cancer: you will participate in the hunt of a whale. Then its baby hale will appear and break your hearts.
Leo: your band’s concert will be a blast. It was a good idea to perform this week. Get your guitar ready.
Virgo: you will travel back home, to the mountains and the sea. You will get that feeling that you have been longing for such a long time, and enjoy that green that you’ve missed so much in the desert. Enjoy!
Libra: you will be destined to Ireland.
Scorpio: you will stop for the first time to listen to the man in the corner of Gravel Street. He will tell you the story of Little Red Riding Hood’s divorce in exchange of coin. Sounds like a good deal.
Sagittarius: you will start a witches’ Akelarre that will run for the whole night, until the day is born.
Capricorn: you will have a dream of your loved one, of an ideal world. But the smoke from the factories will destroy your dreamworld, and the earth and the water will swallow your lover.
Aquarius: the sea’s waves will bring a letter. As you read the words in it, you will fall in love even more.
Pisces: you will steal the Moon for your loved one, but they will not accept your gift. You will be heartbroken.