Weekly Fiery Creek, 19/06/2016

This week in the news:

As the Solstice approaches, Fiery Creek gets hijacked by strange magical forces

The Summer Solstice is fast approaching, and with it strange magical forces are creeping into the world, sign of the arrival of a new season. This year, the Solstice will happen on a Thursday, and current forecasts point towards one of the most horrifically magical celebrations of the last century.

This is a period of celebration for witches and other such magical creatures, as the land gets ripe with magic power that can easily be harvested. This, however, means that citizens who, for some reason, cannot use magic – these include belonging to the Exiled Spanish Inquisition and having been born in the 15th October -, get exempted from the celebration and have to put up with their neighbours’ magic nuisance, which is completely unfair on everyone else.

“One year my neighbours used that magic to grow roses, roses! The neighbourhood rules state that we have to grow petunias!” Doris Waters complained, in a statement that we are currently taking out of context just for the sake of manipulation. Also, commenting on another subject that is completely unrelated to the topic at hand, Liza Kulmala commented that “It’z dangerouz for ze children”, so we are going to throw this in here just as a filler, again, to show some community consensus.

The Akelarre that is celebrated every 23rd of June is an unacceptable practice that should be finished. For this reason, the Chief Editor of this paper, also founder and sole member of the Association for a Nonmagical Unitary Society, has demanded Town Council to ban these practices. However, the leader of ANUS has reported that Town Council could not be reached for comment, mostly because “they are still in Barbados”.

This festivity, thus, is now part of the group of holidays that some sector of society is trying to ruin on the name of respect and political correctness.

Revenant District drifting south

The Revenant District is reportedly drifting south. This seems to be the result of a considerable chunk of Town Council dying in their holidays in Barbados, in the Wild Kraken Hunt activity in which they participated. The number of casualties is still unclear, as the communications with Town Council have been cut, so it is not possible to quantify how far south the Revenant District is going to move.

Built by Mary Clark in 1843, the Revenant District is home to the dead of Fiery Creek that still are between us. Initially composed by the few dozens that had died in the first six foundations of the town, the Revenant District has grown steadily ever since, as the population of undead has grown in town, mostly because of unresolved grudges with neighbours about which flowers to plant in their gardens – so, yes, Doris is to blame with a lot of this.

This, of course, was a concern for the citizens of Fiery Creek at the time – it still is -, which meant that Mary Clark, Mayor of Fiery Creek at the time, had to devise a solution. The Revenant District should be near enough that the undead could integrate and feel part of the town without complaining, but far enough that the living citizens did not complain – complaints were a major issue at the time, which is the reason why subsequent Town Council officials learnt to ignore them all -, so she added some arcane magic that made the Revenant District drift north if the population of the living grew, and drift south if the population of the living decreased.

Thus, it seems that the losses of Town Council are in the thousands, because the Revenant District is getting too near town. This is an issue that has to be solved, so we would like to urge everyone in town to increase the birth rates.

First concerts of the summer getting ready

As the summer starts, apart from the unpleasant Solstice celebrations, the summer concert season is starting. The concerts that have already been announced are the following:

23/06 – Crow in the fields: folk rock band, their show includes a vocalist, a guitar and a violin. Sounds lame, but the entrance is free. Also, cheap alcohol. Definitely worth a try.

24/06 – Slavers of the Night: a band of witches that sing new age and pop rock. Attendance to this concert is compulsory. The souls of 7 people will be harvested at random for every year’s sacrifice to several long dead gods that help keep balance of the rules of nature.

25/06 – Warriors of Cthulhu: more than a band, this is an attempt to bring to life the Lovecraftian deity. The priests and priestesses of Cthulhu are very hot, and the music is pretty good. A must go.

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