Fiery Creek Public Service Announcements, 15/06/2016

The following Public Service Announcement has been made public by Town Council on the 15th June 2016. Its aim is to let citizens know that:

  1. Instead of the usual Public Service Announcements this is going to be a summary of Town Council’s holiday in Barbados.

Town Council’s Holiday in Barbados: Part 2

Town Council, celebrating that the direct threats to town had been vanquished – the Eldritch abomination and the fire that surrounded the town -, decided to stay in Barbados for another week of Council-paid luxury vacations. In reality, it is not completely true that this was an improvised decision, as they had hired the hotel in Barbados indefinitely – through arcane magic forbidden to anyone outside Town Council -, in case the Eldritch abomination obliterated Fiery Creek.

So they stayed. They had a lot of fun. The first week had been mostly about relaxing: they caught up on their sleep and read books in the beach while the nice weather touched their skin. Mayor Laura Garcia was wearing a bikini to get some good exposure to lightning bolts, which she read in some stupid sexist women’s magazine is good for the skin and to maintain homeostasis of internal organs. Apparently it helped Kate Moss with some liver problem that she had had. Not the model, but the writer who appears in Channel 7014.

The second week, on the other hand, was all about outdoor activities. One of the most anticipated activities was the Wild Kraken Hunt, which in itself is worth taking the holiday trip to Barbados. The concept is simple: all of the attendees to this activity board on a wooden XVIIth century ship and travel into the sea. Once they are far enough that swimming back to land is infeasible, they wait for days until a Kraken appears and attack it. The Kraken, infuriated, tries to take the ship down into the liquid abyss, and all participants have to do their best to kill the Kraken before the ship gets destroyed. A lot of people die every year doing this activity, but they all assure that it is great fun.

Town Council had a private Wild Kraken Hunt session arranged for them. It was a blast. The 3917 Town Council seat holders boarded 12 ships that set sail on Saturday. It didn’t take them long to find a Kraken, a beast 100m long that swam near the surface. It was an easy victory, with few losses. Everyone wanted to be back and feast on the Kraken’s meat, but Mayor Laura Garcia, holding her wooden leg and adjusting her eye patch, ordered otherwise.

“This be only a wee fry. T’ rest o’ them be waitin’ in t’ depths, stalkin’ us” was the only thing that she said when asked for more explanations.

That night they encountered them. The Kraken King and its army attacked them when only the moonlight was visible. The Kraken King, a beast 1km long, moved slowly and forcefully, and completely shattered two of the ships in one go. All of the Council members in those ships died quick deaths, which was better than the fight that awaited the rest.

“Get them ‘n lemme kill t’ Kraken Kin’!” Laura Garcia ordered.

The battle that ensued was ferocious. The seas were teeming with creatures, and the Council members equalled them in bloodlust. Using their cannons, their spears, their guns and their dark magic, one by one they took on the beasts. But the beasts were too numerous, and, in a few hours, only one ship was left. The sea had turned red with blood, solid with corpses, and, as dawn approached, the last ship, the only mast standing holding a ragged sail, faced the Kraken King, who had been injured but still had strength in it.

The Mayor had lost her wooden leg, and her eye patch had disappeared to reveal a perfectly healthy eye. She was looking at the beast. “It be surroundin’ us” she said. “It be goin’ t’ kill us all”. She spat at the sea, and looked at the few Council members that were left. There were too few of them to face them – only 18 of them, counting the Mayor -, so there either was a sacrifice on someone’s part, or they would all die. “It be not goin’ to take us all”. She took the sword from her belt and limped to the edge of the ship. Before anyone could react, she jumped down over the Kraken King.

“Ye be dyin’ wit’ me!”

She pierced the Kraken King in the eye. She then blasted some pirate spells through it, trying to destroy the head. The beast contorted and started to descend onto the depths of the ocean, but the Mayor was trapped and couldn’t escape. The survivors did absolutely nothing to help her. They did, however, start games to see who would take the position of Mayor.

They picked up all of the corpses and brought them to shore. They sold them, ate them, feasted on them and celebrated on the good hunt. They had never had such happiness. Once they got bored of feasting, they decided it was time to get back to Fiery Creek, now that the Council was much smaller it would be much easier to run the town. They buried the 3899 corpses of the rest of the Council, and stole all of the dead people’s goods. They never found the Mayor’s corpse, but she had gone into the liquid abyss, so they took all of her belongings too. They went to the teleporting point in the island, they did their goat blood sacrifice and waited. Nothing happened. They tried once again, and all of the systems they tried to get out of the island fail. They were trapped in the island.

Meanwhile, the corpse of the Kraken King had come to shore in Martinique. A blade pierced through it. The blade holder was not happy. Not at all.

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