The following Public Service Announcement has been made public by Town Council on the 8th June 2016. Its aim is to let citizens know that:
- Instead of the usual Public Service Announcements this is going to be a summary of Town Council’s holiday in Barbados.
Town Council’s Holiday in Barbados: Part 1
Town Council arrived in Barbados last week. The trip was quite standard: take a plane to Miami, fly back to Toronto, go through the Astral Plane of Suck, lose half of the luggage, fly from New York to any city in Texas, get mugged, get shot at, realize that Mayor Laura García has stayed in the Astral Plane of Suck eating in an Indian buffet, return to retrieve her, fly from New York to any Texan city again, get mugged and shot at once more, get a poem tattooed into the body and appear in random locations of Barbados. As has been said before, standard trip.
Once there, Council members needed to get to the hotel, so they had to travel through the country to get to a hotel with views to an idyllic beach of soft sand. The weather was very nice when they arrived, they had a thunderstorm, followed by a hailstorm, followed by a snowstorm, followed by a normal storm – all in the first 30 minutes of arrival. It was exactly what the Council had been looking forward to experience: pleasant weather in which they could relax and do outdoors activities, helping them forget how the asphyxiating plant that guards the entrance to Town Hall has overgrown and is spreading up and towards the sides, and will eventually become a problem for the town.
It is very nice to have paid vacations to Barbados on Council funds, everyone agreed. Though nobody said anything, they all thanked Ross Sarda – Mayor of town between 1936 and 1944 – for creating this policy when the island was discovered in 1939 – if you check Wikipedia it will say that the Kalingo have inhabited the island since the 13th Century, and that it first appeared in a Spanish map in 1511, and, though these facts may be true, Barbados was not discovered until 1939.
Town Council spent the first week in Barbados getting some rest, sleeping amd trying to forget about their responsibilities. Not “forget” like they do when they are not interested in something, more like actually forget them. I mean, nobody wants to spoil a holiday by remembering that there is an Eldritch abomination in town, turning people into food and making people eat that food. Thinking about that would be a complete deal breaker, and the objective of this holiday is to relax.