This week in the news:
Eldritch abomination invoked through the use of an oven.
An Eldritch abomination has appeared in town this week. The thing itself, too horrifying to understand or to grasp at all, seems to have been invoked through the use of an oven, but there simply is no way to know. It is simply a mockery to reality and common sense, which is now haunting our town.
The abomination is extremely dangerous. The citizens that have been touched by its tentacle-like appendages have been turned into delicious plates of Italian, Spanish or French cuisine, which have been devoured by the citizens that have looked at the abomination for too long, unable to resist the urge to eat their neighbours. Those of Italian, Spanish and French descent have not appreciated this, and have waged war on the abomination under the leadership of Mama Luca.
Other groups have also joined the effort to get rid of the abomination. The undead citizens of the town and an army of mind controlled citizens are also participating in this fight to get rid of the abomination, which is disrupting normal life across town. Several of the incidents produced by this creature include the summoning of German children to the town, alterations of the gravity and turning water into chocolate.
Meanwhile, town police and the Council have not made public any intention of fighting the Eldritch abomination. “It is not our responsibility to deal with mysterious, incomprehensible creatures” stated the town Mayor, Laura Garcia, while eating a bowl of fetuccini with cheese. “Just get used to it” she added, while trying some paella from a dish on her side.
Doris Waters’ house exploded in tea brewing accident.
Doris Waters’ house exploded this Friday in Sinno street at the Petunia District. Luckily, nobody got injured at the incident and, unfortunately, the sole founder and member of the Neighbourhood Watch has gone unscathed.
According to town librarian, Ms Erin Pyp, who witnessed the explosion, town visitor Anne Black was being interrogated in Doris Waters’ basement at the time – which is the Town Council’s standard procedure to decide if a visitor is eligible for a welcome party at the Fier family bar – when tea at several thousand degrees of temperature was dropped inside the house, which provoked the explosion.
Doris Waters and the government officials who were doing the interrogation managed to get out safely, but abandoned Ms Anne Black in the house. Thanks to Ms Pyp managing the collection of prophecies left behind by Diane Vines when died, Ms Black was rescued by Ms Pyp and John Fier, who had known from the very beginning what would happen.
Several neighbours of the Petunia District have complained about Doris’ tea brewing. “Shee heatz the vater too much” commented Liza Kulmala. “It’z dangerouz for ze children” she added, concerned about her two daughters and her son. “We have informed Town Council several times about this issue, but they do not take any action” complained Mr Fier.
Meanwhile, Town Council has made public its decision to rebuild Doris Waters’ house on community funds, and has asked the neighbours to lodge and help Ms Waters in this tragedy, as she is “just a victim”. She is currently banging on all of her neighbours’ doors at the same time, as they all refuse to have her.
Strange activity at the Registry of Lost and Found.
The workers of the Registry of Lost and Found have reported strange activity in their building of Sand street. Reports from the office state that things keep getting moved around by some unknown force.
For instance, Dominic Wess, head of the office, was surprised when he found a bloody machete in the corridor. “I thought we had put it in its place. It even had its name tag, with the date and the place where it was found written in runes, as is standard. There was also more blood in the machete than there had originally been. It is all very weird”.
These events have matched with the disappearance of Deborah Peterson, worker of the office. Whether there is a relationship between both events, the police cannot tell yet.