Fiery Creek Public Service Announcements, 25/05/2016

The following Public Service Announcement has been made public by Town Council on the 25th May 2016. Its aim is to let citizens know that:

  1. William Sato, Town Council member for the last 6 years, has announced his retirement. This means that the Council’s Development Seat will be left vacant in the next few months. The Council, in an attempt to ensure stability of the Cat-Dog negotiations, will not nominate any candidates for the position until matters are settled.
  2. A faction of black mambas has settled in town. They are a criminal gang that has attacked several citizens already. Among their illegal activities are impersonation of Jehovah’s Witnesses, violent attacks using knifes, and, allegedly, traffic of illegal drugs, according to the town’s police force. They are to be considered extremely dangerous, and avoided at all costs. The Town Council and Town Police are currently cooperating to manage the situation.
  3. The recycling system is not being used properly. Workers that pick up the trash to send it all to the same plant in the edge of town where everything is processed have complained that many citizens do not separate their rubbish because “they’re going to process everything together, anyway”. While this is true, the recycling system was created by our ancestors for a reason, and unknown as that reason might be to us, the recycling system needs everyone’s cooperation. So remember, on Monday it is Assassination tools – like a knife or a Voodoo doll -, on Tuesday it is Warm stuff – like some nuclear waste that you may have lying around the house -, on Wednesday it is Ears, on Thursday it is your Salary – you are going to waste it, anyway! -, Friday it is broken Oaths – are they useful anymore? -, Saturday it is Magic sludge, and Sunday it is Ears again. So remember, the mnemonics is AWESOME, not KNEECAP.
  4. This year Literature Week will probably be cancelled due to the weather. The weather predicted for October is going to be pretty bad – from what we know, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will probably ride that month, and it will rain blood -, which is highly inconvenient for the outdoor activities planned for that week. The Town Council is trying to negotiate with the Horsemen so that they ride one week later, but a positive outcome cannot be ensured in this tense negotiation.

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