Weekly Fiery Creek, 15/05/2016

This week in the news:

Voters of Fiery Creek elect Satan over Dark Warlock Overlord to rule the country, claim he represents traditional American values better.

Another week has gone by, and this week the citizens of our town have had the opportunity to exert their constitutional rights to elect the leaders that will represent the political parties for the presidential elections later this year. On a surprising turn, the citizens of Fiery Creek, who according to several made up polls showed a great preference for the Dark Warlock Overlord, have voted in favour of Satan to represent the Dark Arts for Tyranny party.

According to the interviewed citizens, Satan represents more traditional values that are ingrained in American culture and that should be respected, whereas the changes that the Dark Warlock Overlord had proposed seemed a bit too edgy, and not in line with the values of Americans.

Pranksters suspected of transporting new set of pyramids built by Walter Simmons to Ancient Egypt.

Walter Simmons, pyramid enthusiast, has lost yet another set of pyramids this week to spontaneous time travel. The pyramids, which were exact replicas of the pyramids of Giza, seem to have been transported to ancient Egypt, where they are lying in the current location of the pyramids of Giza.

The police is investigating the matter and suspects that it must be pranksters that are transporting the pyramids back in time each time Mr Simmons builds them. Mr Simmons, who has been suffering from this problem for two years already, has lost over two dozens of pyramids already, and is willing to take drastic measures.

Though some legal work is being done to retrieve the pyramids, the ancient civilizations aren’t collaborating, and government officials state that they do not have diplomatic relationships with past nations, which means that Mr Simmons will have to resolve the matter himself.

Several incidents provoked by the rush in moving due to truce between cats and dogs, Main Square west entrance closed.

The recent news of the truce in the war between cats and dogs has been welcomed with celebration in the town of Fiery Creek, which has been torn by this war between both species of pets for the last 4 years. However, the truce has not finished the issue, which authorities hope will be resolved through more diplomatic ways.

Currently, cat free and dog free areas have been delimited, and the city centre has been left as an area of peaceful cohabitation. These areas have been chosen considering the majority pet population of each region, but it still means that hundreds of families have to move houses before the 20th May 2016, that is, next Friday.

The families that have to move have expressed their concern and discontent at the division of the city in cat free and dog free areas, stating that it is nothing but a “short term solution”. Both Mittens, leader supreme of the cats, and Rex, president elect of the dogs, have expressed their apologies at the situation and have stated that they are working as quickly as possible to finalize the issue peacefully.

Meanwhile, there have been several incidents in town due to families moving around and moving through areas where their pets were not allowed. In particular, a car accident has provoked a closure of the Main Square. The police has stated that everything should be back to normal in the next few days, as families settle into their new districts.

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